Extra-Marital Affair Prevention -Why Not?

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Hello,

I managed to find these tips on Making Your Marriage Extra-marital Affair Proof.

Why not work on resolving your marriage issues before a crisis develops?

Yes, there are ways the both of you can cement that marriage so that an affair doesn’t have to be a solution to the problem.

Did you know that you can use the psychology  of persuasion to change your spouse’s behavior to improve your marriage?  It’s exciting and kind of scary all at the same time. Successful sales  people and even predatory men and women looking to steal your spouse understand  these principles and use them to their advantage.

post affair reccovery tips

Restore Your Marriage To What It Once Was…Today

They are simple principles, but don’t  underestimate their power.

Lets take a look at these so that you  can use them to protect your marriage from harm.

Here’s a quick disclaimer. These strategies are not discussed so that  you can manipulate your spouse, rather I decided to share these so that you  could understand the power they hold over influencing our behavior. They can be used for good. In fact, they can have a huge impact on  empowering you to rebuild:

A sincere and lasting friendship
A desire to play and have fun together
A romantic and intimate connection

This research comes from Robert Cialdina, PhD.  I’m not going to bombard you with clinical research, rather just what  you need to know and a tool that you can utilize today to utilize these in a  genuine way.

Principle #1: Similarity

We are attracted to people who are  affectionate, attentive and have similar thoughts and interests. In fact, we prefer people who are similar to  us. This holds true whether the  similarity is in the area of opinions, personality traits, background or  lifestyle.

An interesting fact outlined by research  from author Susan Kelly in her book Why  Men Stray, Why Men Stay is that…

“The kind of women men stray with may come as a big shock. They are not typically the trampy, hated,  stereotypical “other woman.” It could be a very close friend or someone you  least suspect  –  a woman he is comfortable with and who pays attention to him.”

Someone desiring to gain compliance  from you can accomplish that purpose simply by appearing similar to us in any  of a wide variety of ways.

Many sales programs call this technique  “mirror and match” and teach the sales representative to mimic the customer’s body  posture, mood and verbal style.

Principle #2: Compliments

An  experiment done on men in North Carolina showed how helpless we can be in the  face of praise (even from someone who obviously needed a favor). Some of the men in the study received  positive comments, some negative and others a mix.

Here’s what was interesting.

The evaluator who only offered praise was liked the  best. That may sound predictable, but  here’s what they discovered to be fascinating.

This was the case even though the men knew the  flatterer had something to gain. And the  best part of the finding was that the praise didn’t have to be true to get the  desired result.

This proves that we have an internal switch inside  of us that automatically reacts positively to compliments, even if they are not  true. The danger of this, as Dr.  Cialdini pointed out, is that we can fall victim to someone who uses  compliments in an attempt to win our favor.

How to Survive Cheatingextra-marital affairSo how can you use this to your advantage to  benefit your marriage?

A few weeks ago, my husband and I started reading  the same book. We’ve never done this  before, but I grabbed a copy because he kept raving about it and after a few  days we found that we started talking about the book. The talks we’re effortless because it was a  similar interest.

It’s sad, but many of us miss the  opportunity to connect with our partners because we don’t create a “connection  environment.” We lose sight of the small  things and don’t identify what we have in common or how we appreciate each  other.

We may have similar thoughts and  interests… even goals, but we don’t use the right “type of talking” to uncover  that connection.

With all the vast resources in this  modern world, we receive almost no instruction on how to operate in an intimate  relationship but as you know, there is a lot at stake to keep our marriage fresh.

A good conversation builds trust,  honesty and respect. And the best part is that a good conversation isn’t always  about something deep. Talking is  talking. And a good conversation can  build awareness for things we have in common.

For more help with saving your marriage or healing after an affair has taken it down to it’s knees…Read the following source.

extra-marital affair

Best regards,

Laurence

 

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