Did you know there are two common reasons many relationships end before the affair recovery process is completed?
The first is because the intense anger and deep hurt block your ability to break free and move forward.
And this second reason may surprise you.
Recently we surveyed 3000 individuals who were injured or involved in an affair. From that survey, we divided the participants into four groups.
Females injured by an affair
Males injured by an affair
Females who cheated
Males who cheated
After analyzing the data, there was one problem that was common to injured males and females that was so significant I couldn’t ignore discussing it today.
In fact, Dr. Gunzburg has dedicated a very large section of his program to solving it..
But before I share what that one problem is, let me explain the second reason many relationships end even when both individuals want it to survive.
After an affair, the intensity of the problems in the relationship looks like a mountain too high to climb.
First you have the personal devastation and emotional trials of the injured; second you have the emotions from the cheating spouse; thirdly you have the cracks in the relationship; and fourth you may have the other person lingering in the shadows.
These problems compound on top of each other and the relationship crumbles because…
Neither of You Has a Clue Where to Start
Most couples fail to understand that healing their relationship after an affair isn’t only about doing and saying the right things. What’s critically important is that we do and say the right things… in the correct order.
As we’ve shared in the past, Dr. Gunzburg’s program How to Survive an Affair isn’t a book. It’s a healing system.
While most books, tapes or audio programs discuss the realities of what an affair does to a relationship, Dr. Gunzburg provides advice, exercises and steps to follow (in the proper order) while you move through the 3 phases of healing.
For example, after you overcome the intense emotions and start to feel normal again through the first phase of healing, the second phase of healing teaches you how to talk again.
If you can’t talk to your partner, you can’t rebuild your relationship. Emotions are very touchy.
You might feel incredibly angry at your partner and want to blow up, or you may try and rationalize the affair or judge the cheater. While these feelings are natural, how you express them is going to be important.
You certainly don’t want to make matters worse.
That’s why there are four minefields (in Section 5) Dr. Gunzburg coaches you to avoid to keep your relationship from being further damaged.
Once you understand how to navigate around those minefields you’ll be ready to address one of the single most important components of the healing process.
Seeing Through the Eyes of Your Partner
There is one thing more important than expressing how much the cheater has hurt you.
What’s more valuable is when the cheating partner fully understands how much they’ve hurt you. But this process is extremely tricky.
Sometimes it is hard to distinguish between what we think our partner needs and what they actually need. That is why Dr. Gunzburg provides a step-by-step exercise for living in your partner’s shoes.
When followed the results can be a true and heartfelt apology.
Read just a few stories we gather every day from over 20,000 couples who’ve used Dr. Gunzburg’s program.
“Dr. Gunzburg, your program is practical and non-judgmental. You recognize that everyone responds differently to an affair. What really helped me was first working on myself to deal with the overwhelming emotions and then deal with the issues with my partner. It also allowed me to step away from the affair and see my partner’s pain and suffering (guilt and shame). I realized that we are both human. In this way I could learn to trust and forgive.”
Access to this wonderful Dr Gunzburg resouce can be had by clicking the link below.
It’s never too late for a new beginning.