Coping With Emotional Infidelity Help

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I  know at times some of you all get tired of me harping on this Emotional Infidelity.  However, in the connected world we live in today it is becoming a very serious business.  From cell phones to “I” this or that it only takes a moment to get someplace you don’t belong.  So, let’s unpack this old story again and look at Emotional Infidelity in a new light.

“It aint like this anymore”!

 

So, who is vulnerable to emotional infidelity?

The answer may surprise you.

Emotional infidelity is tricky by its very nature: it occurs at a level where you may not even realize it’s happening. In this blog, we’ll explore how easily a casual relationship can slip into emotional infidelity—and how you and your spouse can protect from its pitfalls. Read on…

Vulnerable to Emotional Infidelity?

The answer for who is vulnerable to emotional infidelity would be anyone with emotions—and who doesn’t have strong boundaries in place to protect their marriage.

Emotional infidelity is devastating to the victim of it, which could potentially be either you or your spouse. It is attention being lavished elsewhere but where it belongs: within your relationship.

What’s the common denominator for emotional infidelity?

Having and/or developing relationships with members of the opposite sex.

You, or your spouse, may protest:

“But I’ve been friends with so and so for years now…”

Or, “My job requires I meet people and develop relationships with them.”

No one is saying you need to lock yourself into a small room with no windows just because you’re married. But if you’re not careful, you’ll have entered a minefield. Close bonds and intimate connections can grow out of these seemingly harmless conversations and time spent with someone other than your spouse.

Emotional affairs are defined by their emotional investment: you take your emotional energy, your innermost thoughts and feelings, and share them with someone. This naturally creates a bond.

Where people find themselves in trouble is when the bond deepens, the connection thickens—and suddenly this other person becomes your main confidante. Often, those who have gotten caught up in an emotional affair will say, “But he/she really understood me.” Of course this other person understands them: they’re being let into the inner realm where the spouse may now be excluded.

This inner realm is where intimacy is born and nurtured. If you’re giving that to someone other than your spouse, it is only right that they will feel rejected and upset.

So how do you prevent yourself from going too deep into a bond to begin with? Keep reading…

How to Sidestep the Emotional Affair Minefield

Tip #1: If You’re Feeling Neglected….

Feeling neglected by one’s spouse can happen. If you feel neglected, realize right there that you are in a vulnerable position. All it will take is someone to smile at you and offer a friendly word of encouragement, and you may think you just met your soul mate.

Remember, everyone is on good behavior when they aren’t vested in terms of years, dirty laundry and bad habits. If you are feeling neglected by your spouse, it’s part of the marriage deal that you continue to work on getting through to him or her. Having an emotional affair causes more damage in the long run, even if it feels good and fulfills your needs in the short run.

And yes, an affair will get a spouse’s attention—but not the kind you want, which is negative attention. It’s like a kid who breaks something to get their parent to look at them. They get attention, but it’s not the good kind.

Tip #2: Keep A Fence Around Your Marriage

You have to be conscious of your boundaries and what is good for your marriage. Telling intimate details about your life to someone other than your spouse is probably not a good idea—so make sure when you have conversations with people, you keep some level of internal distance.

When you’re at the office, this doesn’t mean you can’t be friendly: it just means that you need to remember this is business. Friends of the opposite sex? Maybe it’s a good idea to involve your wife in any meetings you may have. That way, things are kept out in the open.

Tip #3: For Every Ounce of Attention Outside the Home…

Triple the amount of attention you give your spouse when you get home. It’s something couples get lazy about doing: putting time and effort into the most important relationship they have—their marriage.

You travel for your company, or forge relationships to improve your company’s standing, and you do that for hours and hours every week. Granted, you may not be able to put in 8 hours of attention when you get home, but think of it: for everything positive you put out there in your marriage, it should bring positive dividends.

For a lot more professional help with coping with adultery you need to Click Here.   Saving Your Marriage

This will work.  And, remember Love is a verb and it requires action on your part to keep the fires going.

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