Extra-Marital Affair Survival Tips

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Stop the Extra-Marital Affair by Being SMART – Not Trying so Hard

It is often the case that you cannot directly stop the affair.

extra-marital affair

 

Specifically for the affair type: “I fell out of love…and just love being in love” a direct assault most often results in the affair couple intensifying their contact or emotional involvement.

You stand a chance, and sometimes a very good chance of influencing the cessation of the affair if you are smart!

Being smart means taking some time to stand back, assess the type of affair and then plan a course of action that might get you extra-marital affairthe results you want.

Or, at least you will feel better about yourself, feel more empowered, by taking some calculated action.

Now standing back for most of us is very difficult.

The intensity of your pain and agony compels you usually to revert to old patterns that sometimes (most often probably) worked in certain situations to alleviate the pain (supposedly) and/or gain a measure of control.

For example, when feeling the fear of being displaced or losing something vitally important, you may lash out or become aggressive.

Watch out! You externalize the pent up feelings and energy. You rant and rave.

You threaten (to kick him/her out…even though that is not what you truly want), you push, prod, ask questions unendingly and beg, plead, cries… all to no avail.

extra-marital affairThe reactions trigger in the cheating spouse a desire to flee.

Or, you may use the tactic of internalizing and withdrawing.

You carry your pain within, may become depressed and assume a victim role.

Others are concerned about your mental and emotional health and what you might do.

The loud message is: “care for me.” Out of guilt, your cheating spouse may move close but your cheating spouse will be smoldering with anger that will eventually destroy the marriage.

You Are On Autopilot And The Fear Of Losing Your Marriage Is Overwhelming.

Please realize that these responses are automatic.

extra-marital affairNo true thought is given to “why am I doing this? Where does this come from?” Under the pain of the discovery of an extra-marital affair many go back to the default pattern of emotionally not caring for one’s self.

And rest assured, these patterns will only generate more distance.

You first need to step back and see the patterns.

Difficult? Not really.

No one, the school, our parents, your friends, your community or even the church did not provide adequate information about this nightmare that impacts at one time near 80% of all marriages.

DR Huinzenga has dedicated the last 10 of his over 30 years as a Marriage and Family Therapist to give you the information you need to at a minimum, save your sanity and hopefully put a halt to the affair and resolve your nightmare.

The above information is taken from one of his first ebooks, “The first Step to Surviving Infidelity.”

To learn more about “The first Step to Surviving Infidelity” . Click Here!

Good Helpful Information,

Laurence

 

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