Cheaters How Can I Save Our Relationship
This is my first blog on saving a relationship after an extra-marital affair. I hope as we move along we can become internet friends. In setting the stage for this issue I want you to know I take extra-marital affairs as a very serious matter. As we go forward with many different subjects I believe you will see how serious I take this matter.
I will try to be open and frank, calling a cheater if they have cheated and liar if someone is lying. With that in mind let’s move along to today’s topic: How does a cheater begin to restore their marriage?
Anytime there are cheaters involved in a relationships, the parties end up asking themselves, “How can I save our relationship?” There are many questions d luckily, just as many answers. All relationships can be saved but, especially when cheating is involved, it takes time. Also, by the time you reach the point that you are ready to save your relationship, you may actually decide that you do not want to save it.
When a relationship ends there is always pain and sadness. When a relationship ends because of cheating, the biggest hurdle to deal with is the mistrust. Once trust has been broken, it is extremely hard to bring back. It may never be fully restored. Although some individuals can put it behind them, others are so impacted by the loss of trust that they can never forgive.
The first step you need to take is to talk it through. This can take days or even months but you need to do what it necessary to save the relationship. It’s important that both of you are completely open and honest about your mistakes and feelings. Discuss what lead up to the affair. Although whoever had the fair may take the brunt of the blame, both partners must be willing to own up to their mistakes. The person who has been cheated on will want to know why and the cheater must be honest about his/her answer. You may be surprised to learn that most people end up having affairs without actually going out and looking for them. Someone may come along at a time that they are feeling empty in the relationship and this other person fills the need that hadn’t been met for a long time. If the cheating episode in your partnership resembles this “unintentional” affair, you can definitely work on getting your relationship back. If the affair was intentionally sought out, then you probably want to consider moving on.
Communication is important in any relationship, even if it is relatively healthy, but especially when an affair has taken place. If you can communicate in a rational way without getting too emotional, it is better but this can be hard, especially in the beginning. Try not to accuse, threaten, or be aggressive. If you try to look at your relationship as something that needs fixing, you can work on how to do that.
Getting back to the question of “Cheaters-how can I save our relationship?”, there isn’t an overnight solution but there are step by step methods that you can follow. And remember, because there is such a lack of trust, especially n the beginning along with other feelings like guilt, betrayal, anger and depression, you need to be very careful in how you communicate with each other. This doesn’t mean that you need to be dishonest in order to be “nice” but that you do need to try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes as well.
I truly believe if both partner want the marriage to be saved and are willing to work at it the marriage will prosper. Will it be the same as before? Hopefully not, it should be better.
Some steps to begin the restoration process can be found with these folks right here.
Best Wishes for your marriage,