Hi Friends, surviving adultery in your marriage may be one of the toughest tasks you are called to solve. But it can be and has been done. Let’s take this problem apart.
You may feel as if your life imploded when you learned that your spouse cheated—or may still be carrying on an affair. The news rocked your feelings of stability and safety in the marriage. Your biggest concern may be how to survive infidelity, and one question at the moment may be:
Should I go to counseling with my spouse, or should I drive straight over to the divorce lawyer?
Infidelity: A Devastating Action Creates a Difficult Decision
Your marriage has probably had its ups and downs over the years—just like any marriage. But the furthest thing from your mind was that your spouse would cheat on you—after all you’ve been through as a couple. You never thought you’d be in a position of wondering how to survive infidelity.
The thought that your marriage could be over is devastating. It’s like a second blow to your gut, the first being the infidelity you’ve discovered. Other than dealing with death, a marriage in crisis is one of the toughest emotional times you could ever have—especially if you’re trying to decide if the marriage should end.
A marriage counselor can’t answer the question of whether or not you should seek a divorce—that’s something for you and your spouse to decide. And as the injured spouse, you may feel a divorce is what you should do. Your pride is at much at stake as your marriage.
But a divorce isn’t necessarily the answer. Sure, when your marriage is at its lowest point, it may seem logical to divorce. But without you and your spouse first trying to resolve your issues and build the relationship, you may later regret not trying—as difficult as that may be to imagine right now.
However, getting the marriage “back to where it was” won’t resolve anything. That’s where the current crisis sprang from. Now the challenge is working together, assuming your cheating spouse is willing, to build your relationship to something better than you ever had before as you both learn how to survive infidelity.
Whether you decide to try couples counseling or seek a divorce, your decision will change your life. And working with an objective party, such as a marriage counselor, may help you and your spouse work to make the best decision.
Marriage Help: Should You Stay or Should You Go?
Your decision comes down to two choices: staying and working on your marriage, or getting out. Here are some questions to consider:
I will post the Part II of this serious matter on the next post. In the mean time you can get yourself started with this wonderful resource from the folks who have helped more couples resolve their marriages instead of disolving them.
This could be the new beginning you need to restart your marriage.