Post Affair Emotions – Anger

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In coping with an affair, the affair victim can go through intense periods of anger.

Does this describe you?

At times, you may feel pure rage welling up inside of you. It’s a frightening, sickening feeling—but it’s a natural response to being betrayed. You have a right to be angry.

In this blog, we’ll look at how coping with an affair and anger may be natural, but how to begin to release the anger. Lets look at 3 recommendations today.

The Results Of Managing Post Affair Anger

If you’re struggling in coping with an affair, anger may currently feel like your permanent sidekick. Every time you think about your cheating spouse and their sneaky paramour, you feel your blood begin to pop like a cauldron of oil.

Anger is a way to express a range of emotions you may be feeling:

  • Outrage over being duped
  • Sense of unfairness to have this happen to you
  • Frustration with your spouse
  • Intense hurt over your damaged marriage
  • Rage over your spouse’s arrogant lies
  • Anger is fueled by your own thoughts, and it can quickly become a cycle.

The more you think about how you’ve been wronged, the natural reaction for you to have is more anger.

It can lead to a negative thought loop, one in which you brood over the affair’s occurrence and the painful aftermath, and this causes a flare-up of intense feelings that spark more anger.

It’s human to feel anger, one of our strongest emotions. You have been hit with information that has caused you an extraordinary amount of pain, and your initial reactions are bound to be strong. ‘

You’ve been betrayed, and that feeling of being wronged by someone you loved and trusted goes hand-in-hand with anger over their actions that flew in the face of that love and trust.

Should Your Anger Frighten You?

To feel this anger is nothing to be scared of—it is a natural reaction.

Just don’t act upon it.

You may be disturbed by the scenarios popping up in your mind: of revenge, or inflicting harm on your cheating spouse or paramour. These are feelings, not actions. If you feel you are planning to take action, though, you will want to talk to someone immediately to get yourself off of that particular thought loop.

Three Recommendations For Managing Post-Affair Anger

I have three recommendations for you to begin easing yourself past the intense anger experienced by a victim coping with an affair. Here is:

Recommendation #1: Journal Your Angry Thoughts

Remember, anger can lead to a negative thought loop: you experience a thought about the affair, which triggers that welling-of-anger feeling. To help undo the loop so you can get past these feelings is to write out exactly what’s going on inside of your head and how it’s affecting your emotions.

What about the affair makes you so angry? What scenarios keep playing over and over in your mind? Does it remind you of any past hurts you’ve experienced?

Recommendation #2: Track Your Small “Paybacks”

Your spouse has hurt you immensely, and while you may not actively seek revenge, you may be engaging in small behaviors to pay back your spouse for the hurt they’ve created.

Track incidents where you are acting out of a sense of vengeance. A lot of victims of affairs report they feel good at the time for inflicting a little pain back, either with a hurtful comment or silent treatment, later they feel regretful about their actions and it makes them feel bad about themselves.

In order to not engage in these actions, it helps to develop awareness of what they may be, and the best way to do that is to write them down so you know what to look for in the future.

Recommendation #3: Come Up with Anger Alternatives

It’s not unnatural to feel anger as you’re coping with an affair, but it does become unnatural if it goes on and on and on without relief for you. Anger can be exhausting, so brainstorm ways to manage your anger going forward. A daily walk where you can physically release those pent-up feelings? Talking with your spouse for a few minutes each day about what you’re feeling?

What you do is up to you, but the intent is to make you feel better, which is really all that matters as you’re coping with an affair.

There is help for surviving betrayal and begin the steps to healing forgiveness.

A Guide To rebuilding your marriage after an affair.
A Guide To rebuilding your marriage after an affair.


Discover Why An Affair May Be The Best Thing To Have Happened To Your Marriage & Learn How You Can Bounce Back From Betrayal To Make Your Marriage Better, Stronger And More Fulfilling
“Check It Out!”          Click Here!

A Guide To rebuilding your marriage after an affair.
A Guide To rebuilding your marriage after an affair.
Click Here!  Now And Begin Rebuilding A Better Marriage Today. Post- Affair Emotions Post-Affair Recovery Steps


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