In the world we live in secular broadmindedness just what actully is cheating?
If you are arguing with your spouse about what cheating actually is?
Your spouse really might not know what defines cheating—because he or she isn’t able to admit that they are contemplating cheating, are in danger of cheating, or are actually engaged in the act of cheating or have cheated in the past.
In this blog, you will learn what infidelity is, so you aren’t left doubting yourself about your spouse’s behavior and why it feels hurtful to you.
Are the Lines of Cheating Really that Blurry?
So there you are, feeling like the accuser in a trial that’s testing the bonds of your marriage. A conversation about what makes cheating cheating may go something like this:
“Who was that on the phone?”
“Someone from the office.”
“Who is this “someone” calling on a Saturday?”
“Just someone from the project I’m working on, Jessica, about some work stuff.”
“Didn’t sound like you were talking about work. It sounded like a very personal call. Are you cheating on me?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not cheating just to talk to someone from work.”
“It is if it’s a Saturday and you’re not even talking about work!”
You can see how quickly such a conversation becomes a stalemate, with both spouses digging in behind their idea of what cheating is/isn’t.
Your spouse is possibly in denial, especially if he or she is caught up in the rush of getting attention from someone outside of the marriage. That attention feels good if your spouse has been feeling “neglected” in the marriage, and naturally he or she won’t admit to being wrong when it comes to feeling good.
But feeling neglected is not an excuse or a validation for behaviors that threaten the marriage bond. The problem is that the spouse who is getting this attention is not addressing an issue in the marriage. He or she is not facing their feelings, emotions and needs head-on—with you.
How easy it is to think, “I haven’t touched Jessica (or Jeremy), so therefore, I am not cheating on my wife (husband).”
Being physical with a paramour is a very narrow definition of cheating. Let’s look at what cheating really is.
Defining Cheating in Your Relationship
If your husband or wife is having a personal relationship with some intensity, the relationship has probably crossed the line. It may not be physical—yet—but an emotional affair can be just as devastating.
When your husband or wife has an emotionally intimate connection with someone other than yourself, you are not getting the intimacy that rightfully belongs right there in your marriage. The spouse who is sharing his or her innermost thoughts with someone other than you is damaging the emotional connection between you. Your spouse’s behavior is causing a problem.
I will follow up with steps you can follow to determine (without spy tactics) if your spouse is cheating and how to confront them with the facts.
Meanwhile you can get a jump on how to beging healing your marriage that might have been devastated by an affair.
Can be just the resouce you and your spouse are looking for.
Best wishes for a successful marriage restoration